I’d like to welcome William Ade to the blog today. His sleuth, Nic Knuckles, filled in for the author and provided the responses to my This or That Thursday questions.
Favorite thing to do when you have free time: “Not much to say. Nic Knuckles is a big city private eye with a boatload of heartbreak, traversing the universe in pursuit of justice for the little guy.”
The thing you’ll always move to the bottom of your to do list: “Death scene investigations involving cat ladies who cared for more than a dozen felines.”
Favorite snacks: “Maybe the discovery of fire and the invention of the wheel helped humans evolve from hunter-gathers to on-line shoppers, but Nic Knuckles believes we only truly became the apex mammal with the innovation of multiple varieties of cheese.”
Things that make you want to gag: “Nic Knuckles suffers an upset stomach if someone hovers over me while I eat. It probably started when I was a newborn, and my mother gave the wet nurse only five minutes to feed me. ‘I ain’t payin’ for no fat baby,’ she’d yell, if the woman went into overtime.”
Something you’re really good at: “Nic Knuckles is built to locate slippery people, the neutrinos of human misery, men and women, boys and girls, cats and dogs living in the shadows.”
Something you’re really bad at: “Nic Knuckles is bad at making my mother happy. Even though she’s promised to dance on my grave more than once, I know she'd be sad if something fatal happened to me. Her grief would be even greater after learning I'd removed her as my life insurance beneficiary.”
Something you wanted to be when you were a kid: “When Nic Knuckles was a second grader, my dream was to be a third grader. Crazy huh?”
Something you do that you never dreamed you’d do: “Nic Knuckles has had more than a few destitute clients over the years, like the man who lived in a chicken coop. He couldn’t pay me in cash, so I took eggs, lots and lots of eggs.”
Last best thing you ate: “Nic Knuckles is munching a nice gorgonzola as he types in these answers. I’ll probably switch to a sharp cheddar after I ship these answers off to Heather. Can’t get anymore last than that.”
Last thing you regret eating: “Nic Knuckles avoids drinking alcohol, although a beer or two was consumed during a recent case. Drinking was necessary to blend in with an unsavory crowd at a college sorority kegger. I think it was Gamma Ramma Mamma, or something like that. Some girl was pledging and her parents hired me to investigate if it was a safe environment. I went undercover and survived to the last day of Rush Week before getting tipsy and kicked out.”
Things to say to an author: “Where can I back up my truck full of money and exchange it for a truck full of your book?”
Things to say to an author if you want to be fictionally killed off in their next book: “I won a free copy of your book as part of a Goodreads Giveaway and it’s now three hundred and twentieth on my bedside table. I’ll get to your review in 2044.”
Favorite places you’ve been: “Kleinstadt, Indiana. The town had a Main Street, that once hosted fine family restaurants, a movie theater, and two department stores, now gave up the space to taverns, tattoo emporiums, and consignment shops. Some said Kleinstadt was a busted, rundown little burg full of broken, rundown people, and it was, but I solved a fifteen-year-old murder case while working for a mysterious client who paid really well. Best of all, it’s the location of my first novel, Big Scream in a Small Town, available now, and probably in your favorite book store’s remanded bin by July.”
Places you never want to go to again: “I'd never forget that night in Hoboken, New Jersey, when I stumbled upon a one-eyed drug dealer with a Mexican Chihuahua named Needles. Sorry, Heather, I really don’t want to talk about it.”
Favorite things to do: “Nic Knuckles, is dedicated to that lady in the nightgown. The one with the bandana tied over her eyes, holding the scales high above her head. Pursuing justice is my favorite thing to do, followed closely by the Art of Cheese Festival held each September in Madison, Wisconsin.”
Things you’d run through a fire or eat bugs to get out of doing: “Actually, Nic Knuckles likes snacking on roasted bugs.”
Most daring thing you’ve ever done: “There's a thin purple scar riding across Nic Knuckles’ chest that I acquired years ago while doing something daring. I was undercover at the Little Pee Wee Preschool at 73rd Avenue and 188th in Queens. Her name was Penny, and she had an outsized temper at four years of age. Yeah, she came at me with scissors when I interrupted her naptime. She had to have been eating paste or something to act so crazy.”
Something you chickened out from doing: “Hiking in the woods. You see, being a big city guy, walking in a forest always made Nic Knuckles nervous. Pigeons, rats and squirrels, I understood, but those trolls and fairies creeping about the forest, ready to do something unnatural to you, were terrifying. The sooner we paved over Mother Nature, the safer I'd feel.”
The funniest thing that happened to you on vacation: “Nic Knuckles is a hard-boiled private eye. Hard boiled private eyes don’t go on vacations. They experience extended periods of having no clients. I once vacationed four months without any compensated sleuthing.”
The most embarrassing thing that happened to you on a vacation: “She was a blind date I took on a cruise up the Hudson River. Her name was Shelia and she must've stood five foot ten, and then, throwing in those four-inch heels, she towered over me. But she didn't seem to care, so Nic Knuckles didn't either. That good night kiss, however, ruined it. She closed her eyes and puckered, so I did the same and went in for the smooch. Dang, I reached up but still planted my lips on her throat.”
The most exciting thing about your writing life: “Being interviewed by Heather Weidner. When it comes to clever plots, engaging characters, vivid settings, and tight fluid writing, Heather is the complete package. To be a guest on her blog has Nic Knuckles kvelling.”
The one thing you wish you could do over in your writing life: “Secured all the rights to the name, Harry Potter.”
The nicest thing a reader said to you: “You’re so much taller in person than how I envisioned while reading about you.”
The craziest thing a reader said to you: “Wouldn’t it make more sense to get a suspect talking like a parrot, rather than singing like a canary?”
About Nic Knuckles:
Nic Knuckles was born and raised in the New York City borough of Queens. His mother single-handily raised Nic and his three incorrigible sisters, as their father preferred fast women and slow ponies. Nic achieved perfect attendance while in elementary school and was a proud graduate of Bernie Madoff Secondary.
While never marrying, Nic has had a long string of failed romances, including Olga the Pole Dancer; Magee and her pet chimpanzee, Chopper; Tilly the Language Impaired City Bus Driver; Lucy Long Legs; Wobbly Peg; Sheila, Rosie, Lulu the Human Hermit Crab; Weepy Wilma; Mabel; Tina the Tease; Madam Vue Due; Eldora; Hannah the Sociopathic Phone Solicitor; and Bubbles.
Nic opened his detective agency, Knuckles Investigation, in 2008.
The novel, Big Scream in a Small Town was published by Level Best Books in early 2024. Nic’s follow up novel, Big Scream in a Wee Village, should be out early 2025.
Let’s Be Social:
Facebook: nicknucklesprivateye@gmail.com
Tiktok,com/@nic.knuckles
YouTube: https://www.youtube@nicknucklesPrivateEye
Instagram: NicKnucklesPI
