Dealing with Goodbyes in Your Writing Life

Writers encounter a lot of rejections and goodbyes along their writing journey. It is a part of the process, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. As you grow as a writer, there are things you’re going to have (or want) to give up or do less of because your time is finite, and you have to be able to juggle all the demands in your life.

Make Sure Your Events Match Your Audience - Early on, we tried just about every event and conference that would let us speak and sell books. I learned after a few events which ones drew my readers. I am now more selective about events I attend and where I spend my time and money. I don’t have to do every event.

You Can Say No - I like to help and to be a part of things, but there are only 1,440 minutes in a day. I was taking on too much and not guarding my writing time. I had to decide what time I was going to devote to writing and book marketing, and then I had to not do some other activities.

Changes - Life is full of changes. People retire, move, and change jobs. It is difficult when you miss people or your life was upended by something you can’t control. Agents and editors retire or switch jobs. Our friends are no longer here with us. Publishing houses are purchased, and sometimes contracts are not extended. Give yourself time to grieve.

Moving on - I started out with a group of writers, and many of us were at the beginning of our journeys. We did book signings, critique groups, and blogging/marketing efforts together. Things don’t always stay the same. There are times when you need to evaluate your goals and decide if you want to continue doing things or if it’s time to jettison some activities in order to improve your craft. This doesn’t mean to give up friends or stop supporting them. It just means that you may have outgrown the activity or that it may not bring you the same joy or value that it did in the past.

Whatever the goodbye is, you need to give yourself some time to react and grieve. Then it’s time to assess your writing situation Are you ready to make a change? Decide where you want to be and work toward that goal. The writing life is a tough one sometimes. But I still believe the benefits and joys outweigh the obstacles along the way.