Dealing with Goodbyes in Your Writing Life

Writers encounter a lot of rejections and goodbyes along their writing journey. It is a part of the process, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. As you grow as a writer, there are things you’re going to have (or want) to give up or do less of because your time is finite, and you have to be able to juggle all the demands in your life.

Make Sure Your Events Match Your Audience - Early on, we tried just about every event and conference that would let us speak and sell books. I learned after a few events which ones drew my readers. I am now more selective about events I attend and where I spend my time and money. I don’t have to do every event.

You Can Say No - I like to help and to be a part of things, but there are only 1,440 minutes in a day. I was taking on too much and not guarding my writing time. I had to decide what time I was going to devote to writing and book marketing, and then I had to not do some other activities.

Changes - Life is full of changes. People retire, move, and change jobs. It is difficult when you miss people or your life was upended by something you can’t control. Agents and editors retire or switch jobs. Our friends are no longer here with us. Publishing houses are purchased, and sometimes contracts are not extended. Give yourself time to grieve.

Moving on - I started out with a group of writers, and many of us were at the beginning of our journeys. We did book signings, critique groups, and blogging/marketing efforts together. Things don’t always stay the same. There are times when you need to evaluate your goals and decide if you want to continue doing things or if it’s time to jettison some activities in order to improve your craft. This doesn’t mean to give up friends or stop supporting them. It just means that you may have outgrown the activity or that it may not bring you the same joy or value that it did in the past.

Whatever the goodbye is, you need to give yourself some time to react and grieve. Then it’s time to assess your writing situation Are you ready to make a change? Decide where you want to be and work toward that goal. The writing life is a tough one sometimes. But I still believe the benefits and joys outweigh the obstacles along the way.

Plotters, and Pantsers, and Hybrids, Oh My!

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

What is your writing style? There has always been an age-old discussion among writers. And you will find diehard fans on both sides.

Quick Definitions

Plotter - One who is a detailed outliner. He/she plans the entire book before writing.

Pantser - One who writes by the seat of her/his pants. The writer goes where the story leads.

Hybrid - This is a combination of the two styles. There’s some planning and some freewheeling.

I have been in IT for the last twenty-one years, and before that I was involved with business analysis, project management, and technical writing. Planning and outlining have always been a part of my work processes. I am also a list maker and planner of everything from vacations to potlucks. So it was a natural fit for me to plot.

My style has changed over the years. As I dove deeper into the writing process, sometimes a subplot or a character took over, and the structure changed from my plan. In an effort to speed up my writing, I “pantsed” several books. They no longer took five years to write, but I tended to get stuck in the middle. I struggled with where the story was going. It wasn’t really writer’s block, but I was mired in what should come next. With the rewrites and the revisions, I probably spent more time than if I had outlined the book in the first place.

And sometimes the characters or plot did take over. In my Delanie Fitzgerald series, Chaz Wellington Smith, III, the sleazy strip club owner was only supposed to be a minor character in book one. My critique group liked his character, and he is fun to write. I just finished book four in that series, and Chaz is still around. He grew on Delanie and me.

In your writing, use whatever style works for you. I describe myself as a hybrid now. I’m rigid enough to start with a plan and flexible enough to change if it suits the story. My chapter outlines also save time when I put a synopsis together for querying.

There is no right way. Look for ideas or hacks that will help you improve your writing. If something doesn’t work, jettison it for something else.

Happy writing, whether you plot and plan, or write whatever comes to mind.

It's Time for Health Check of Your Writing Life

Audits, regular check ups, and routine maintenance always make me cringe. They’re not my favorite things to do, but they are necessary and important. And I challenge you to do an annual check up on your writing life. Are the things that you’re doing helping to move you forward with your goals?

Platforms

• Your website, newsletter, and social media platforms need routine care and feeding. When was the last time you posted or commented? Do you do things to actively grow your audience?

• Occasionally look at your follower lists. There are accounts that follow and drop you when you follow them back. It’s a good idea to purge nonfollowers from time to time.

• Make sure that all your links work on your sites. Test your contact me forms.

• Look at your author headshot. If it’s from ten years ago, you may be due for a new one.

• Look at the landing page of your website. Is it inviting and appealing? Can visitors easily navigate your site?

• Search for your name on a variety of search engines. See what comes up. If you’re not in the first page of results, you need to work on your internet presence.

Tools/Services

• Look at the tools and services that you pay for. Are they helping you market yourself and your books?

• Make sure that you use this services enough to get your money’s worth. Are there comparable free tools available?

• Check your accounts. Is “autorenew” set? If so, make sure that you still want the service before it’s time to reup. Chances are that you’re paying for things you don’t use.

Your Time

• Time is precious, and you need to guard it.

• It is okay to say no to things that you don’t want to volunteer for. It’s hard, but if you’re overloaded and overscheduled, you don’t have time to write.

• Look at where you spend your writing time. Is it balanced with your marketing efforts?

• Look at your numbers and what marketing efforts sell books. Scale back or jettison the ones that didn’t work for your book.

• Look for pockets of time in your day that you can redirect to your writing time. When we worked from home during the pandemic, I dedicated my normal two hours of commuting time to writing, and it paid off. I was very productive with my writing projects that year.

• Get organized. Stop spending precious time searching for things. Organize your desk, schedule, and computer files.

Take a few minutes to do a retrospective with your writing life. Look at what you’ve produced, marketing, goals, schedule, and expenses. Focus on a few things that will help you move closer to your goals.

What I Learned about the Writing Life from the Wizard of Oz

The 1939 MGM version of THE WIZARD OF OZ is my all-time favorite movie. It used to be a once-a-year treat when it aired on TV, but when technology changed, I bought the VHS tape and DVD for “on demand” viewing. I even took a two-week fun course on it as an undergrad. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen it, but it still find surprises each time I watch it. Here’s what I learned as an author from it.

You Had the Power All Along - You do. You have the grit and determination to fulfill your writing dreams. It’s there. You just need to harness it and figure out your plan. Make a plan and follow it. Don’t give up!

Use Your Assets - You have the tools to be a writer. You will need to put in the time and energy to hone them, but you have the brain, heart, and courage to do it.

Everyone Needs Friends - The writing journey is a long (often solitary one), you need friends, mentors, coaches, and cheerleaders. Find your crew and support each other.

People (or Scarecrows, Tinmen, and Cowardly Lions) Are Willing to Help - The Writing Community is full of authors at different stages who are gracious with their time and advice. Find your writing allies and cherish them.

Be Part of The Group - Make sure that you’re an active participant with the writing community. You don’t have to do everything, but you need to do something. Share ideas, experiences, and contacts. Provide feedback and guidance. Support other writers with comments, shares, and reviews.

Sometimes It’s Scary - The witch’s flying monkeys scared me so badly as a kid. (And when I was little, I found it hard to fathom that the lady in the Maxwell House coffee commercials was really the Wicked Witch. But that’s another story.) There are some rough patches and scary stuff along the writing journey. Rejections, bad critiques, and nasty reviews aren’t pleasant. Learn what you can from them and keep going.

Be Flexible - You are going to run into all kinds of roadblocks and dead ends. Figure out ways to move forward and to advance your goals. Use your gifts. Be creative and find your way out of the haunted forest.

And one pair of shoes can change your life.

Writing Advice I'd Give to a Younger Me

Someone asked me on a panel recently what advice I would give to a younger version of myself. Here’s a longer answer to that question…

• Write every day. I know there are so many other interesting things in this world, but if you want to be published, you need to put in the time. And the more time that passes between writing sessions, the harder it is to get back to work.

• Start now.

• Find a group of supportive writers. These folks will be there to help you celebrate and to move on after disappointments.

• Decide what you want to write and read everything in that genre you can get your hands on.

• Pick a few writing books to read. Don’t get so bogged down in the self-help reading that you don’t actually write.

• Perfect your craft. The writing part is fun and easy. The work comes during the revisions. And there will be many of them.

• Don’t let every little comment bother you. Learn what you can from the feedback and don’t dwell on the negative ones.

• Know that the first manuscript you’ve worked on for so long may not ever be published. Many authors have two to three manuscripts in a drawer. I have two abandoned ones.

• Writing is a business. Agents and publishers are looking for books they can sell.

• You will need to do A LOT of book marketing. Be prepared. Be creative.

• Find a schedule that works with your life and try to stick to it. I am more productive if I write every day.

• There are going to be set backs and disappointments. This is a tough business. If you want to see your name on that cover, you need the grit and determination to keep moving toward your goal.

• Find a critique group or writing partner who will give you honest feedback about your writing.

• Don’t rush it. Make sure you are prepared and that your manuscript is ready for the world before you start to query it.

• Invest your time and money in things that will help you improve your writing.

This is a tough business, and there are as many ups as there are downs. Keep the faith and keep writing.

Don't Rush It - Tips for Authors

I am a Type A (ESTJ) girl, and I like action. “Maybe” or “Wait” drive me crazy, but I had to learn not to rush my writing life. Many times, you only get one chance with an agent, editor, or publisher. Make sure you and your book are ready.

Your Work in Progress (WIP)

• Make sure it is formatted like a standard manuscript (12 pt. Times New Roman, Paragraph Indents instead of Tabs, Double spaced, with One-inch Margins).

• Proofread, proofread, proofread. Do a round of proofreading every time you make major edits.

• Print out your manuscript to review. You will catch more errors on paper than you will on screen.

• Make sure all character and place names are spelled the same. If you changed character names, make sure you’ve removed all old references. (And if you write multiple series, make sure the other books’ characters don’t appear by mistake.)

• When you think you’re done, read it again.

• Make sure to build in time for beta readers or critiquers to go through your manuscript. My critique group reads 50 pages a month, so it takes a while to get through a novel. They are not reading the book end to end in a few days like a reader would. I make sure I have a few beta readers who will read the entire manuscript as they would a book and provide feedback.

Querying

• Be prepared. Each agent, editor, or publisher is going to have his/her own process.

• Do your homework. Don’t do a shotgun approach and query 50 agents at once. Target ones who represent (and sell) books like yours.

• Query in small batches and keep a list/chart/spreadsheet of who, when, and the result.

• The agent or editor shouldn’t be the first person to read your book. You need a critique group, writing partner, or beta readers to give you feedback on your writing. Make sure your early readers read your genre.

• Have all of your documents ready. You will need a synopsis, character list, and a list of comps (books comparable to yours). Take the time to prepare these. Make sure that all of your documents are polished and look professional.

• Follow all instructions for the person you’re querying. Some have specific requirements for formatting and what documents they want to see.

• If you’ve had contact with the person (e.g. at a conference or a personal reference), make sure to include that. Don’t exaggerate the connections though. People talk, and they check references.

• Make sure your WIP fits the conventions of the genre. Don’t submit a 250,000 word manuscript for a cozy mystery.

• Know how to describe your work. Agents/Editors will ask you where your book fits. Bookstores won’t know how to shelve a Western, romantic, paranormal suspense with vampires, space aliens, and clowns.

Take your time and make sure you and your manuscript are ready. You may only get one chance, and you need to make it the best it can be. Best wishes with your writing project!

Grit and Grind - Two Tools for Your Writer's Toolbox

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Grit

firmness of mind or spirit; unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger (Merriam-Webster)

Grind

to work hard; to be fully dedicated; to have no limits (Online Slang Dictionary)

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I often mentor folks who are interested in starting or furthering their careers. One of the frustrations I hear a lot is that it takes too long to get where I want to be or I seem to be spinning my wheels. My advice is often that you need to make sure that you’re putting in the time and effort to gain the experience, knowledge, and connections to move yourself on the path where you want to be.

Grit, grind, and even hustle have popped up in my consciousness and readings a lot lately. And it’s been a good reminder to me to review my goals (life and writing) and my daily routine Am I doing the things that will get me where I want to be?

Recently, I finished Trevor Moawad’s It Takes What It Takes. He is a mental conditioning expert who I heard speak at a Risk presentation at Virginia Commonwealth University. He’s worked with some stellar athletes (including hometown favorite, Russell Wilson) and elite military units. Check out his book. It puts things in perspective. You have to change your way of thinking, you need to adapt, and hard work/discipline are the keys to success.

These truths apply to your writing journey, too. There are very few Cinderella stories where an author pens a book and tops all the charts. If you talk to successful authors, they will tell you that years of hard work led them to where they are today.

Author Brad Parks gave a wonderful closing address at Sleuthfest 2021. He encouraged writers to have a routine, write daily, exercise, eat right, and focus on your end goal. Sitting at your desk for six hours watching cat videos is not writing. He also talked about professional athletes and their routines. He provided numbers of how many athletes are at the top of their professional game, and the numbers are relatively small. He compared that with top tier writers. Writing is a tough industry with a lot of disappointments. Writers need to work on their craft and to write.

One of his tips for avoiding distraction was to type “XXX” in his manuscript when he needed to research something. Then when he was at a stopping point, he would search/find the spots and do all the research at one time. (He called it doing his “exes.”) During this crazy pandemic time, I find myself getting distracted easily, and this tip is on my list to try with my new work in progress.

Literary agent, Jill Marr, and editor, Terri Bischoff, did a workshop recently where they critiqued query letters. Both stressed the importance of writers doing their homework. Query letters and manuscripts need to the be the best they can be. Don’t get excited and start querying too early. You often get only one chance. When you think you’re done, edit/revise it again. The editor or agent should not be the first one to read your manuscript. Also follow the conventions and the standards for content, formatting, and style. Do your homework. Make sure the agent/publisher is a good fit for your manuscript.

Back to my earlier question. Am I doing the things that will get me where I want to be? Decide where you want to go with your writing career. You need to be the professional. Invest the time, energy, and money to hone your skills. Put in the hours (weeks, months, years) it takes to write and revise, read books in your genre, network, and build your platform. Decide what works with your life and responsibilities and focus on your writing life.

Networking - Where Do I Start?

Writing is mostly a solitary effort, and marketing, book promotions, and networking can be a challenge. when it’s not in your comfort zone to socialize or to put yourself out there. And it’s even harder during this pandemic. But being connected is important. Here are some ideas I’ve learned throughout the years to help you meet, connect, and strike up conversations.

Cultivate the Relationships You Have - Make the time to reach out and connect with the relationships you already have. These are your friends, family, and acquaintances. Call, text, Zoom, post on social media, or drop them a letter. Reach out and connect with the people who care about you.

Build Your Social Media Followers - Social media can be overwhelming and time-consuming. Set aside some time each day to connect on your sites. You need to be an active participant. The “social” part is key here. Don’t just post and run. Your readers/followers want to interact with you. Ask and answer questions. Post comments and share others’ information.

Work on expanding your followers. All sites have a “you might know” option where it offers suggestions of who to follow. Find authors like you and look at who follows them and who they follow.

Use Hashtags - Search for hashtags that interest you. Look at the posts and start a conversation with someone new. Follow people who have the same interests. Share and comment on posts you like.

Celebrate with Others - Share others’ celebrations. Be genuine. And don’t hijack the conversation to make it about you.

Allocate Time - It’s easy to get sucked in your sites, and you can scroll for hours. Schedule some time daily and stick to your plan. If it’s too much to do more than one platform, pick one and focus on that. Make sure that you interact.

Don’t respond to comments three weeks later. I check my key social media sites in the morning, at lunch, and in the evening to make sure that I am responding in a reasonable amount of time. Find a routine that works for you. Every hour is probably too much, and once a week is probably not often enough.

Join Groups - Look for clubs or groups connected to your interests. These are great places to be a part of the conversation. And don’t limit yourself to just books. Make sure that you participate in groups in your own community (e.g. neighborhood associations, places of worship, alumni groups, neighborhood Facebook groups, charities, volunteer organizations, etc.)

Find a Writers’ Group - Find a writers’ group for your genre. These offer many opportunities for networking, learning, and special projects.

Volunteer - Volunteer your time. Organizations are always in need of people to serve on committees and to help with events. This is such a great opportunity to give back, and you will meet so many interesting people.

Tag You’re It - Post about public seminars and events you attend. Post about interesting books, movies, and shows. Tag the speaker or the people involved even if you don’t know them. You’ll be surprised at the number of responses you get, and it often starts a conversation.

Post about events you’ll be attending and tag people. After a public event, post pictures (even if it’s a Zoom screen) and tag the panel or the speaker. (Just a note of caution: we have a lot of law enforcement speakers at our mystery events. ALWAYS ask before you take and post a picture. Sometimes there are professional and security reasons, and they don’t want to be identified publicly.)

#FF or #WW - If you want to start a conversation on Twitter, use the Follow Friday (#FF) or Writer Wednesday (#WW) hashtags. Post a meme or a gif and list a bunch of accounts that you think people should follow. People will comment, add other names, and share. It’s a great way to expand your reach and pick up followers.

Ask Questions - If you want to strike up a conversation on any platform, ask a question. Make sure to add related hashtags. Examples: It’s the weekend, what are you reading? It’s snowing here, what’s the weather like outside your window?

Look at the lists online of fun “holidays” and post a picture or a meme for topics related to your book.

Ask for advice or recommendations. People are always willing to assist.

Help Others - People are always looking for recommendations and information. If you can help, reach out to them. Share the knowledge and resources you have.

Tag Your Friends - If you see a post on a topic that would be of interest to a friend, tag that person in the comment with a brief note. You’re helping to make connections.

I love looking at all the “Bookstagram” and “Book Stack” photos that readers put on Instagram. If I see a friend’s book in the picture, I always tag them in a comment. You’d be surprised at the number of times authors didn’t know a reader had highlighted them.

Keep Your Contacts Organized - It’s important to keep contact information where you can access it. You never know when you’ll need to reach out to someone.

When someone gives me a business card, I write on the back where I met them or who introduced us. When I’m back at my desk, I transfer the contact to my email address book with enough notes to jog my memory later.

I also have a spreadsheet where I keep subject matter expert (SME) contacts that I meet. You never know when you or someone else will need the connection. I attend a lot of workshops and training sessions, and the speakers often offer to be a resource in the future.

Just Do It - It is not in a lot of people’s nature to strike up or jump into conversations with strangers. It’s hard, but make yourself try it. Find some online conversations and jump in with your comments or questions. Or start a conversation on your site.

It is difficult, but you can learn to network. And you improve the more you do it.